Huntsville or Bust (Day 4)

The journey to Hunstville was relatively uneventful. Most of western Tennessee/Alabama consisted of road-side truck-stops and random gas stations which consisted of nothing more than supply stops and bait stores. I have to admit, I did feel a bit threatened at one point moving through north-western Alabama. The localities seemed to be full of camouflaged (dare I say) red-necks who would relish the thought of two Yankee boys lost in their fancy car. With that in mind, we made great time towards the [relative] civilization of Huntsville.

We experienced hunger along the way, as any bold travelers might. To combat these urges, we stopped at a local Cracker Barrel. For those of you have have yet to experience the majesty of Crakcer Barrel, let me lay it out for you. 

Imagine the most decadent of home-cooked breakfasts your grandmother has ever made. Then commercialize that to profitable degree, while still retaining enough deliciousness to make the meal enjoyable. Then factor in an extremely affordable price and you will get a sense of what Cracker Barrel has to offer.

Two eggs, fried chicken, two biscuits, hash browns, and gravy for 6.99

Needless to say, I was very impressed with this meal's offering. I highly suggest visiting a Cracker Barrel on the next nearest opportunity. 

A few hours later, we arrived in Huntsville, Alabama. My roomate, Brian Piechocki, was kind enough to offer his abode for the night. We soon found his house and set up for the night. 

House of Piechocki

Upon our arrival, we were transported (via Brian's Escalade) to a friends house for dinner. I know only his first name, Matt, but I can whole-heartedly say that he was a superb host. Not only were we made to feel as royal guests in the short time of our stay, but we were treated to a most delicious meal of roasted lamb. It was at this meal that we met another of Brian's friends, Taylor, who has smoked more weed than the entire state of Vermont in the past 30 years. And I say this with the utmost respect. Here was a man who, in the midst of incoherence and abnormality, could provide the topmost notch of entertainment and cranial stimulation, even after having consumed multiple rounds of beers.

Later in the evening, we found our selves at a Waffle House. Again, perhaps another Southern anomaly, but I have yet to have a better breakfast plate at 3 in the morning. Certainly a rival to and IHOP, Waffle House provide all of the essential dishes and item for a diner-esque joint with the addition of a certain southern charm than can be found nowhere else than the states in which the chain in located. Suffice to say, I very much enjoyed the meal I had.

We ended our one-night affair with multiple games of ping-pong in Brian's garage. Aparently, table tennis is a very popular past time in the South. I had my ass handed to me on a silver platter multiple times before the night ended. 

In the end, Huntsville seemed to redeem an otherwise stereotypical South. In the midst of Rebel sentiment, I was able to experience the same elation and care-free mentality that I had felt in Boston. Perhaps the Rebel states aren't as hopeless as they would have us believe.

Regardless, we were again up bright and early to move on westwards. This time, toward Arkansas.

Long overdue update (Day 3)

My deepest apologies to everyone tracking this (all two of you) for not updating in the last few days. Our journey has taken us into the heartland of America and the travel days have been long and tiring. As such, I haven't been able to devote as much time to the blog as I would have liked. To make up for it, I'm going to post a few retrospective entries to catch up on the last couple of days.

Day 3

Day three started with me waking up at 7 in the morning the the sounds of a parrot freaking out directly above my head. Oh, excuse me, I failed to mention before that I had been sleeping on the couch in the den. This also happens to be the same room in which the family birds reside. To my eternal delight, they love to wake up early and run around their cage, eating birdseed, and squawking at anything that moves (i.e. me rolling around in a half-awake daze). I soon arose for the day only to find myself in the suffering an allergic reactio

n to the goose-feather pillows I had been sleeping on. After a lovely breakfast, we bid our friends farewell and journeyed west towards Knoxville.

I immediately instructed Rob to find a gas station so I could get some Benadryl. After taking the maximum dose, I soon accended Mount Everest and then proceeded to melt into the seat. An hour and a half later, I came too and had an insatiable urge for chicken. Because we were in the South, we decided to stop at a place called Bojangles'.

Let me just take a moment out of this gripping tale to remind the audience at home of how much of a chicken advocate I am. I really enjoy chicken, almost as much as I enjoy beer and Gary Busey. As such, I can truthfully and authoritatively say: BOJANGLES' HAS THE BEST FUCKING CHICKEN AND BISCUITS EVER!!!! That's four exclamation points, that means its really fucking true and awesome. 

Ambrosia sent from on high, or maybe just western North Carolina

I don't quite know how to go bout describing the meal I had. At first glance it would seem to be your basic chicken, biscuit, fries, and a drink meal, but at the same time, it was so much more. The fries were dusted with a savory spice mix, the chicken was breaded and fried to juicy perfection. The most amazing part however, was the biscuit. Holy catchphrase Batman, was that a great biscuit. As one of Brian's friends would later say "It's like they sprinkle crack and butter on it." That pretty much sums it up. If you ever have a chance to go to Bojangles', eat as much as you can, your life will be better for it.

After lunch, we decided to put the top down for a while. The weather was finally getting warm enough and since this was our first official leg west, we might as well celebrate with an open sky.

Top down, hop in, ride with a G

As we got closer to Knoxville, we noticed the Speedometer had hit the big 1000-mile mark.

1000 looks just like 2367...

Just outside of Knoxville, we stopped at the home of the world's largest knife store. It sounds cool but when you actually get there, its a little unsettling. They had tables covered in grab bins with various small bladed objects. Each cost only a few dollars and there were all of these obese people rumaging through them as if they were going to find some sort of "deal." I can totally see the conversation "Hey honey, I'm gonna run down to the the knife store, Cletis said they have those 6-inch Kay-bars in the grab bin this week!" To the store's credit, they did have a lot of pretty cool replicas. They even had the actual knife from Terminator 2 (the one with the thumb hole on the end).

It's like L.L. Bean, but with... well yeah it's a lot like L.L. Bean

After leaving the Wonderful World of Knives, we continued onto Knoxville, where we spent the night at a surprisingly comfortable Red Roof Inn. The next day, we set off for Huntsville. 

Day 2

We started day two in good fashion. I got up around 8, took a shower, and headed down to the continental breakfast. For those not acquainted with mediocre-hotel jargon, "continental breakfast" translates into layman's terms as "shitty pastries and oatmeal." Of course the upside is that you can have as much as you want and it's free.

After filling up on raisin Total and mini blueberry muffins, I returned to our room to find Rob still asleep. It was still before 9 so I turned on the TV. Keep in mind that it's Saturday morning, so all of the major networks are playing their morning kids lineup. I was fortunate enough to stumble upon some Japanese import that involved playing cards and CGI dinosaur battles. I seriously have no idea what the show was called but few minutes of it that I saw were astounding. Imagine two triceratops' fighting a pair of tyrannosauruses, except instead of just ramming them with their horns, they shot lightning bolts out of their heads. And instead of just standing back and watching, you view the battle via a flying jet-powered helicopter that swoops back an forth between the lizards. Yeah, it was kinda like that. Needless to say, I was thoroughly entertained.

Soon after this, Rob awoke and we began the checkout process. It was around 10:15 by the time we left the hotel so we figured there would be time to see some of the D.C. sights. We hit the National Mall and took a quick tour of everything west of the Washington Monument.

I wonder if he's hollow

Insert phallic joke here

We soon returned to the parking garage and stopped off to fill the tank and put air in the tires.

The only car for miles with a solid crust of rock salt and dirt

Then, we set off for Raleigh. Now I have to say, I suspected that this part of the ride down would be bland. I have no problem with rural environments but by this point, we had seen enough of the sparsely-populated temperate climate. We're ready for deserts and great plains! Enough with tall trees, rolling hills, and winding river valleys! Alas, we have yet to reach that part of the country. For now, we'll continue through a less snowy version of the same shit we have up in New England. But I digress

We eventually arrived in Raleigh (more accurately, on the northern outskirts of it) around 4:45. The first thing we did upon arrival at the house was to seek out a car wash. Two days of rock salt and road dirt buildup in the north-east had accumulated to the car and left it with a nice dull sheen. After getting world-class service at an AutoBelt, our ride looked waaaay better than what it started out as. To celebrate, we rode the .25 miles back with the top down.

Squeaky Clean

We went to Ted's Montana Grill for dinner. I guess Ted Turner is a restaurateur when he isn't running media conglomerates or doing environmental stuff. His chain of south-west "down home cookin'" specializes in Bison products so naturally, we both ordered bison burgers. Mine was actually quite good. Definitely a different experience than traditional beef, but still very enjoyable. Now we're home watching "Little Miss Sunshine" on TV. It's aover 350 miles to Knoxville tomorrow but hopefully the trafic wil be thinner than it's been so far. This will be our first real drive West and I am very much looking forward to it.

LOL White House

End of Day One

It's 9:51 and we're sitting on the couch in our swanky suite in Georgetown, D.C. Chappelle's Show is on TV and we ordered a pizza about ten minutes ago. 

The last picture of snow for the trip...hopefully

The trip down went well. We left Boston at about 10:30 in the morning, heading down the Pike towards Connecticut. Surprisingly, we only saw three police cars all the way down to New York (and none of them saw us!). It started snowing around White Plains so we had to slow down a bit to keep the car on the road (see my previous post about the dangers of winter driving in a Porsche). Once we got over the Tappan Zee Bridge however, the snow stopped and we stopped for lunch... at White Castle. 

Let me tell you something about White Castle. Never in the history of the World has any product or company benefitted so much from being in a movie. I dare you to name a corporate identity that has done better. Yeah, see? You can't. Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle single-handedly transformed a relatively unknown New Jersey-based fast food chain into a global Mecca for potheads everywhere. Naturally, Rob wanted to stop.

We each ordered a "#1", that is, four mini cheezburgers, fries, and a drink. At $6.40 I was expecting a damn good meal. I've got a very limited budget for this trip and don't want to waste my cash on subpar grub. As far as fast-food hamburgers go, I'd say White Castle can hold it's own. The buns were surprisingly light and fluffy and the meat held just the right amount of juices. I was very pleased with the fries as well; golden crispy, thick-cut and just the right amount of salt. Overall, I'd say I enjoyed my first White Castle experience, but my colon is definitely thankful they don't have any around Boston.

Crossing the Delaware, just like George Washington

We continued on through New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware and then into Maryland. This whole stretch was pretty uneventful. We stopped a couple times at rest stops to stretch and get refreshments but otherwise its was straight driving. In the last 30 miles we could begin to see the soft orange glow of D.C. over the trees. It took a while to actually locate the hotel, I had made directions for the Georgetown Holiday Inn but we had a reservation for the Best Western. After a small tour of north-western D.C. we arrived at out destination. 

Now here I sit. It's 10:29 and the pizza still has not arrived and now I'm farting onions. Yes, onions. Not farts with an onion scent, but just onions. It really smells like I got out some fresh Vidalias and chopped up a few bulbs. But I digress...

Gastronomy aside, it feels good to have made it through the first day. Tomorrow we'll see a few of our nation's sights before continuing south towards Raleigh. Hopefully I'll post a little earlier next time. Good night to all.